I Just Might Be Falling Apart!

Okay, so maybe, just maybe, I wallowed a few more days than I allotted myself. And maybe, just maybe, I am still wallowing a little. Or maybe at this point I'm not exactly wallowing, just having a hard time accepting the newest addition of problems added to my ever so long list. I had 3 doctor appointments last week, 2 scheduled and 1 unexpected. I will just start from the beginning...

Dr. Holt (my fertility specialist) had recommended that I go see Dr. Mathias (a GI doctor who specializes in GI problems related to "girlie" problems). After my surgery, Dr. Holt felt it important that I go through the aforementioned Lupron Therapy. Although hesitant, I was all geared up to start this last Wednesday-giving myself shots daily, not a problem! I have to say, Dr. Mathias is the BEST GI doctor I have seen thus far (okay, I've only seen one other, but still). He actually LISTENED to what I had to say, did a thorough examination, and went on to do 2 different tests on me (he's the only doctor in the world that does one of these tests & one of a few doctors who does the other one). These tests consisted of hooking me up to a machine that reads the waves in my stomach. I had to fast for these tests-I sat completely still for 15 minutes, drank half a glass of water, & then sat completely still for another 30 minutes (this is VERY difficult as EVERYTHING begins to itch just because you CAN'T scratch it). He received the results shortly after and sat us down to discuss them-he showed us what a "normal" stomach should look like and then he showed me mine (apparently my stomach is CrAzY). Now, I cannot tell you exactly what he said to me in his terms but here is what I understood from him:

1) My stomach is basically having seizures.

2) I have a glucose/insulin resistance problem.

3) This is all caused from having Endometriosis.

4) He prescribed me 3 more medications (2 for my stomach and 1 prenatal vitamin), provided me with 2 from his office (fish oil pills & minerals in liquid form), and took me off the B-Complex Vitamin I had been taking.

5) I have to go on a diet-everyone in his office does it and it's just a good, healthy life style.

6) I have to take a 5-hour glucose/insulin resistance/tolerance test.

7) He wants to try all of the above before going through with the Lupron Therapy (very intense and prolongs us trying to get pregnant).

After learning all of this, I was a bit overwhelmed but had to sit down with a nurse who discussed the much dreaded DIET. It's a good thing James was with me because I started checking out quick (mostly because I was trying not to cry in front of everyone). To sum up the diet in a few words, I CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING!!! Okay, so I'm exaggerating a LITTLE bit. Basically, they cut all the carbs out (except for the good ones from fruits & vegetables) and I can only have natural sugar. So, this might not sound horrible to you when simply reading it on here, but after you take the list and go through the aisle at the grocery store, you would understand why I cry every time we go grocery shopping. Needless to say, it was a rough day!

So, Thursday, I had a wonderful lunch (even on the diet) with a special friend who provided me with great support after going through a somewhat similar situation. She is, in fact, now pregnant and I am absolutely thrilled for her-I cannot think of anyone more deserving (especially after hearing her story). I hate to say though, that this is where my great day ended. I headed over to Dr. Holt's office for my post-op exam. Yes, my incisions are healing well and I have no restrictions but he was not very happy with Dr. Mathia's choice to not go through with the Lupron Therapy at this time. He has to treat me for fertility and claims he has seen too many cases where women with Endometriosis don't do the Lupron Therapy and try unsuccessfully to get pregnant. He feels like I truly need the Lupron Therapy in order to be able to successfully conceive a baby. He asked that I deliver the pictures from my surgery to his office in Katy on Friday and someone would transport them to the Memorial City office. He would send them to Dr. Mathias and they would talk-if Dr. Mathias does not agree to do the therapy, then Dr. Holt will. Needless to say, I left crying...not a good time to go grocery shopping while starting a new diet. Nonetheless, I needed food because I could not eat ANYTHING in my house! To spare you the sob story, James had to finish grocery shopping and I went home and cried for a few hours (we were in separate vehicles). I couldn't even eat my comfort food!! Now, one of my main reasons for being SO upset is because I was ready to start the Lupron Therapy on Wednesday and didn't get to. We were leaving for vacation on Sunday and wouldn't return until Thursday. I realized that this would just be pushing this process back even further...a process that takes 6 months to a year, a process that puts me into pre-menopause and causes THOSE side effects, a process that I would like to start during the summer-not to ruin my summer but to get used to my body's reaction before starting back to work. At this time, I have delivered the pictures & emailed Dr. Holt's nurse asking for an update-until then, I wait.

At this appointment, Trudy (my endocrine specialist) said my hormone levels look good (my male hormones have dropped considerably). I am now weening myself off the steroids which means one less medication (although I added several more to my list after seeing Dr. Mathias). After I am finished with the steroid, I will be taking 17 pills a day (some are liquid but just for the sake of stating #'s). I do not know all of the names, but here goes nothing...

AM-2 Vitamin C's, 1 dissolvable stomach med, 2 tablespoons of minerals (which I believe has broken my toe, another story for another day), .5 mL of a stomach med, 1 Fish Oil pill

Mid Day-2 of the dissolvable stomach meds (before meals), 1 Fish Oil pill

PM-1 pre-natal vitamin, 1 Vitamin E, .5 mL of the stomach med, 1 Fish Oil pill, 1 dissolvable stomach med, 1/2 a hormone med, 1 birth control pill, 1 pill to prevent UTI's

That about sums it up! It was much easier to take these meds when they didn't involve liquids and I was only taking them in the morning and at night. I'm getting into somewhat of a routine, but it's still tough (and a pain) to remember to take all my meds!

The story continues...I went on Friday for my 5-hour glucose/insulin resistance/tolerance test. It was delayed due to Lily (my sweet baby girl puppy) having another seizure/tremor episode that lasted 4 hours (another post for another time). When, I finally arrived, I had to get my blood drawn every hour for 5 hours. It ended up being a total of 6 times as they had to do an initial draw after I had fasted and then I had to drink a bottle of glucose. Did I mention that I have TINY veins and people always tend to struggle to find one good enough. I'm not really sure why they couldn't have left the needle in all day and just draw blood from the same spot...instead they pricked me every time! I have a huge, nasty bruise on my right arm. Anyways, the best part of this whole experience is that my special, sweet friend Meredith came and sat with me the WHOLE time! What a true friend! We had been wanting to catch up and I obviously couldn't do anything but sit there all day, so she joined me and oh, I was so grateful!! We had a great time catching up and the time really did go by pretty fast. I also can't fail to show you the picture of the beautiful flowers she sent me the night before (in addition to an extremely sweet card). I love my friends and truly appreciate all their support! So, rather than ending this post on such a negative note...here are the beautiful flowers that brightened my home for days given by my sweet friend who lifted my spirits tremendously during a rough patch!! ;-)