"How to Rebuild Anything"

I have to admit, James and I aren't always the most faithful when it comes to attending church. We are religious people, believers in God and the power of prayer but when it comes to waking up early on Sunday morning, we struggle. Nevertheless, we managed to wake up on time (barely) for church yesterday morning-I felt an urge, a desire to be surrounded by people praising the Lord and reaching out for His word; I needed Him to speak to me. I'm glad we went because I truly feel God spoke straight to my heart (sometimes I wonder if lessons are meant specifically for us, or we often find a way to apply them directly to our situation).

Pastor Alex's topic was: "How to Rebuild Anything!" based off the book of Ezra. From this, he gave us six points to carry with us on our journey of rebuilding-of course, I feel an urge to rebuild how I am handling "My Health" journey.

1) DIG DEEP-It is important to decide if this change/goal is something you really want. Are you willing to go that extra mile to get where you need to be? Anything of value is MUCH effort.

~Although I might struggle and lose sight sometimes, I am truly willing to do whatever it takes to become more healthy and to one day have a precious child of my own! I can handle the 16 pills a day, the daily injections I am soon to start, & the ridiculous diet I have to be on if it will mean me having the future I dream of.

2) ESTABLISH PRIORITIES - Something must happen first to set you on your journey of "rebuilding." Ask for wisdom from God as you are deciding the order in which you should do things.

~I realize I definitely need to look to God as I partake on this journey-the "wait time" and the "in between" is one of my biggest battles. I want to feel better immediately and begin trying to have children but that obviously isn't a possibility for us. I need to be on medicine, become better acquainted with my diet, and start & complete the Lupron Therapy. We will then take the next steps of our journey, how many ever that might be. God, please give me the patience to wait on You and Your timing.

3) YOU HAVE TO FIGHT! - If it's worth the effort, you will be willing to fight for it. Don't give up-fight until the end! It took them 21 YEARS of waiting and building to complete the rebuilding of the Jerusalem Temple but they never gave up. You will gain rewards in the end, although it might not necessarily be what you think/want, but what God thinks is best for you.

~I think I can honestly say that I have been a fighter when it comes to this situation. Yes, I've wanted to give up PLENTY of times, but I didn't! I have had my moments but I always pick up and keep going. And I continue to pray that God will prepare my heart for whatever He has in store for me-even if it's not what I think or necessarily want. It's hard to sit back and wait, but I know he has the BEST plan for my life!

4) PRAY FOR FAVOR - When your encouraged, your filled with courage. Ask God to put His hand upon you-not for you, but, so you will serve HIM through your life.

~This is something I have struggled with, letting those around me support me, love me, and fill me with the encouragement/courage I need and that they want to provide. Oh, but when I do, I can feel life taking a turn for the better. So, as hard as it is for me, I ask you my friends for help-I cannot do this alone!

5) STUDY/DO IT/TEACH IT - Only when you truly understand something, can you meaningfully talk to another about it (otherwise, it discredits YOU).

~I have done much research on the many conditions I have been diagnosed with and will continue to do so. The better educated I am on my issues, the better an advocate I can be for myself (Let me remind you-I am the one who kept pushing for answers and demanded surgery for Endometriosis).

6) HAVE A TEACHABLE & REPENTANT HEART YOURSELF - You are NOT always right and it is important that you realize this (Question: With humility/softness of spirit, will you forgive me?).

~I think this is something that is hard for most of us. No one likes to admit that they're wrong, that they have messed up and could have done better. I have not handled this situation perfectly and I fear I will continue to make mistakes. BUT, I will try my best to keep my eyes and ears open so that I might learn from my mistakes and do better in the future.

Appropriately, the service ended with the song: "Wherever He Leads, I'll Go!" I will Lord, just please give me the courage, the patience, the strength that I will need to do so. Even though I believe your way to be the ultimate way, it's still incredibly challenging. I cried many, many hours on Friday, asking the Lord where He is in ALL of this? I am beginning to realize that He has been here the whole time, just waiting for me to reach out to Him.

Just as the tears continued to flow through Sunday morning, they continue to flow now as I think about this journey. I will make it through this and I will be stronger because of it!