No, but seriously, I really am excited!!! Knowing that tonight I take my very last shot of Lupron and that tomorrow ANYTHING is possible is just making me crazy....but in a GREAT way! It’s strange...I have been “cautious” through this whole journey and now suddenly, I’m somewhat letting go. Maybe it’s because of the sudden realization that my dreams just might be a reality sooner than we thought. Maybe it’s because of the constant encouragement, support, and prayers that I am receiving from people too numerous to list. Maybe it’s the peace God is putting in my heart as I strive to become closer to Him. Whatever it is, it feels good.
If I’m this giddy right now at the mere possibility of becoming pregnant, I can’t imagine what I’m going to be like if/when it actually happens. I have often heard people complain of not really enjoying their pregnancies....between the “worrying,” the sickness, and the many hormonal emotions involved, it just wasn’t their “cup of tea.” I pass no judgement because having not been through my situation, I might feel the same way. The journey I have been through has totally changed my perspective on things....not just in this particular area but on life! I could be wrong but I think I am going to love every second of it, regardless of all of the not so fun things involved. I will have in my tummy the precious little soul that I have yearned for...for so very long. It will truly be a dream come true and I don’t want to take one moment for granted!
As much as I try to distract myself, clearly this is where my mind constantly drifts. I keep imagining what our lives will be like; what magic and joy we have to look forward to. Yes, these are things I have thought about before, but now it is with such a great intensity that I can hardly contain myself! In some ways, I wish I had a remote control and could just fast forward to taking that pregnancy test and seeing the long awaited word, pregnant. But then I remind myself that this is part of the journey God has laid before us....and His perfect timeline is just that, perfect! Although my patience is definitely being tested, my plan is to try to enjoy every moment of this and to not worry....because I know that worrying will only make things worse. I had coffee with a friend last night and she made the comment that it is so nice to see me happy and excited about this....she said I am already glowing. Can you imagine what it will be like when it actually happens-I will be blinding people! ;-)
So until then, if the boats a rockin’....don’t come a knockin’!!!! ;-P
3 comments:
I still remember peeing on the stick, and coming back to check...like it was yesterday (and crap its approaching 2 years!). And I did have a somewhat miserable pregnancy, and didn't have a cutsie nickname- parasite- but I wouldn't trade the last 2 years for anything! My little monkey monster is the best thing that has aver happened to me! And you little angel is up there waiting, just waiting for His signal
i love how giddy you are .. it is definitely contagious!! i hope & pray that you will get to see those MAGICAL words - you'll never forget that feeling! i also doubt that you'll be one to complain during your pregnancy - people like us who have gone through so much to even get to this stage tend to overlook those "hassles" & are just so blessed to even be pregnant that any inconvenience is more than welcomed! :) (although i haven't had any symptoms so there's not much to complain about over here!)
There are no words for how happy I am for you both ~ simply no words. We love you very, very much!
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