"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." ~Proverbs 3:5
This is scripture that I have always held close to my heart, but more so since we had our 20 week ultrasound (technically 19 weeks and 3 days) on July 14th. Things had been going so well, so smoothly. It was difficult for us to get pregnant so I think I assumed this might be a difficult pregnancy. But, it hasn't been and ultrasound after ultrasound confirmed this. So, when going in for this ultrasound, why would I fear any differently? I went in so excited to see my baby girls and left in tears with a big hurt in my heart.
Honestly, I have so much to be thankful for because overall the twins are growing BEAUTIFULLY! This is the ultrasound where they look at all of the intricate details of their little bodies and make sure things are forming as they should be. The big important things are just as they should be (arms, legs, 4 chambers of their hearts, 2 kidneys, etc.). However, I left scared because of a couple of concerns that they had (this is at the hospital~not with my doctor).
Baby Paradis B (who we now know as Avari Hope) has a small calcium deposit on her heart. In isolation, this is NOTHING! Any of us could have this and not even realize it and probably never even know it. However, when paired with other things, it can indicate a chromosomal issue (such as down syndrome). Because I have been screened for this already and they have seen no other issues, my doctor is not concerned about this at all. I have even talked to a couple of other people who experienced this same thing and everything turned out fine!
Baby Paradis A (who we now know as Emeri Faith) might possibly have a positional club foot. Again, in isolation, it is just that...a club foot. However, if they started seeing other things, it could indicate further issues. In some pictures, her foot looked perfectly straight...in others, it was slightly turned out. If I understand things correctly, positional club foot is more common in multiples because of the lack of room they have to grow. Their foot starts (and keeps) growing a particular way because of the lack of space. One reason they think it is positional is because it is turned out, rather than the typical club foot which is turned in. If this is the case with Little Emeri, we will probably spend the first year of her life in and out of doctor's offices. We already have the name and number of a good orthopedic surgeon just in case. She might be in a cast. She might even learn to walk in one. But, this is a fixable thing and a sweet friend who's been there has assured me that I can do this!
So, as you can imagine, I was quite devastated after hearing this news. It didn't help that I had a doctor (not mine keep in mind) lacking in the bedside manner department. She wasn't mean, just not as sensitive as I need someone giving me this news to be. We spoke with a genetic counselor before leaving who was kind enough to explain things to us WHILE being sensitive to our feelings at the same time. I left heartbroken and fearful....I love my little girls no matter what but I was scared for the way I thought they could potentially suffer. At the time, I was trusting in these doctors and an ultrasound machine (a blessing and a curse) who although educated and quite possibly very good at what they do, aren't the ones who control it all!
After speaking with several great friends, my wonderful parents, and Dr. Peterson (my actual doctor who called me not once, but TWICE before the weekend)....I felt better. But honestly, after speaking to the good Lord, I felt hopeful again and somewhat at peace. Yes, it took me a few days....I had my moments of tears, doubt, and questions. But after much prayer (and people praying for me), I truly do feel at peace. No matter what (and this was never a question anyways) we love these little girls so much and are so grateful that God has blessed us with them. My sweet mom reminded me that God loves them far more than we can fathom and He will take care of them. He chose us to be their parents and we will do everything we can to make Him glad He did so. We are praying for complete healing of their little bodies and that the next "big" ultrasound (which is actually tomorrow) will show this. Regardless, God is so good...ALL of the time! I truly am amazed out how far God has brought me...He knew I wasn't ready to be pregnant a year ago because I simply would not be handling this the way I am now.
We did see Dr. Peterson the following week (on the 20th) for my 20 week ultrasound. She is VERY pleased with how the twins are doing....she said they are right on track with how they are growing (there is only 1 ounce difference in their weights at this point)! Although we could get an amnio done in order to confirm/deny the chance of any chromosomal problem going on, we all agree that it simply is not worth the risk to us (there's an even higher chance of miscarriage when doing this with twins). Although this might provide more information for us, it would not change anything! So, as advised, we continue as we have been and just keep an eye on things! At first I thought this might be difficult because of the fear that sometimes overwhelms me, however, I have and will continue to enjoy this pregnancy....I truly LOVE being pregnant and LOVE my babies!!! If you aren't already, please please pray for our sweet babies and for us as we continue on this journey....we truly appreciate every one's love and support!
So, enough about that! Here is what you all have really been waiting for....Avari & Emeri :)
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| Baby Paradis B (19 Weeks) |
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| Baby Paradis A's Beautiful Face (19 Weeks) |
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| Baby Paradis A's Beautiful Face (19 Weeks) |
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| Baby Paradis A Spine (19 Weeks) |
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| Baby Paradis A~Confirmed Girl (19 Weeks) |
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| Baby Paradis A Profile (19 Weeks) @ 10 ounces |
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| Baby Paradis B~Confirmed Girl (19 Weeks) |
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| Baby Paradis B Profile (19 Weeks) @ 11 ounces |
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| Baby Paradis B Right Arm (19 Weeks) |
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| Baby Paradis B's Beautiful Face (19 Weeks) |
PS: Thanks so much to Heather for getting me out of the house this night rather than letting me dwell on the unknown! Chuy's and pedicures were definitely just the right dose of medicine :)
6 comments:
Your girls are in our prayers! I'm so glad you have such a good doctor--it sounds like she is on top of things. Keep us posted for specific requests! Those two girls are loved by so many and will be absolutely perfect! Also, one of my very best friends had her daughter's club foot corrected when they got home from the adoption in China. She did a lot of research on doctors because her baby was older (2 years) and it would be harder to correct. Let me know and I can get you in contact with her and who she looked at in Houston.
i can't help but see the similarities between this & our story! at one of the first MFM ultrasound appts we were told a few different "issues" were present & could be potentially fatal to the babies; however, i refused to get caught up in the fear & told God that i would trust His decision & just remained thankful that he blessed me with a pregnancy (regardless of how long it might be). at the next appt, all "issues" were gone & the dr blamed it on the position of the babies - what a blessing/curse modern medicine is! HE is faithful & of course will NEVER give you more than you can handle! how humbling it is to know that He thinks so highly of you to bless you with not one, but TWO of His angels at once!! thank you for sharing your story jaime! keeping you guys in my prayers daily! XOXO
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
You know this is my theme scripture. I truly believe in it. This time will be very scary. But the Lord tells us to lean on those who have gone through troubles for comfort, even if the trials they have gone through are not the same.
I hope you know I am always here for you, no matter what you may need. I will be praying and thinking of all four of you.
Thanks so much Joanna-I appreciate this more than you know! The Lord really is teaching me how to depend on Him...I am already learning (before they're even here) that being a mom is the most wonderful yet most scary thing in the world! I just love them so much already and want to do everything I can to protect them! We have already had another appointment since this one and I hope to update soon...they are less concerned than they were before (Praise God!). Either way, James and I are at peace about everything and are trusting in Him through it all. We thank God every day for blessing us with our little miracles :) Thanks again for your sweet comment and for being such a great friend :)
I know it's easier said than done but stay strong. When I was pregnant with Haylie, during an early ultrasound,she had multiple abnormalities. I saw a ultrasound specialist from Houston (which I would see every week until delivery)who told us she would be a downs baby. Sure, I was a little upset but she was our baby. We'd love her either way and that's what we did. I'll never forget when she was born the doctors were AMAZED. Obviously, she's does not have downs....we were given grace from above. Love you Jamie, things might get scary but His grace is enough!
Thanks everyone for sharing your personal stories with me and for the constant prayers & encouragement!!! God definitely hears you and we can feel your love....we feel so blessed to have such amazing friends in our life! I am sure you have seen my update by now....the doctors are less concerned than they were before~Praise the Lord! Either way, we are at peace and thanking God every day for our precious little miracles! Love you all so much and appreciate you more than you know :)
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